With Payback only a few days away, I figured I would chime in with my recap of the card as well as my predictions.
WWE Championship Match - Three Stages of Hell: John Cena (c) vs. Ryback
Three Stages of Hell is a great match concept. It essentially
settles the feud once and for all by having the rubber match included.
It seems like an excellent way for WWE to book Ryback to lose while also
giving him a clean win over Cena so he doesn’t look all that weak. This
is probably the best way for WWE to end a feud that saw them book
themselves in a corner having the new champ whose reign was hyped for a
year against a newly turned unstoppable monster. I wouldn’t mind seeing
Ryback walk away with the title but the likelihood of that happening is
very slim.
Now, being a realist we have to look a bit closer at this match.
Ryback has a lot of cool hard-hitting moves. He puts on one hell of a
squash match and can probably put on a decent 20 minute match. ONE 20
minute match. Here Ryback will have to wrestle three matches in one
night which might expose him as still being green when it comes to
piecing long matches together and telling effective stories in the ring.
Cena on the other hand is capable of having excellent matches
however that is maybe 1/5 of his matches, the rest are formulamatic
repetitive garbage. Hopefully with all the gimmicks in one match Cena
and Ryback will have enough toys to play with to keep things interesting
and burn time by teasing big spots.
Besides the hit or miss potential for the match to be solid enough
to headline a PPV that seems loaded with a pretty lame undercard of
commercial free RAW matches, there is one gaping issue I have with the
match… Lumberjack. Lumberjack matches always stupid and it is always
ridiculous to see big card guys like Sheamus standing at ring side
pretending his is Arn Anderson trying to break up a fight… when his
whole moniker is that he loves fights.
When it comes to this match I think the Lumber Jack stip could
potentially kill the entire match. First of all it is Super Cena vs The
Terminator… What is the need for a bunch of lumberjacks around the ring?
Are one of them looking to run away like a coward? Maybe if it was Brad
Maddox v Cena the stip would make sense but this is just stupid. Not to
mention it is the first stage of the match, so either wrestler could
run away the next stage of the match and with the other stips they
wouldn’t even be counted out.
Most importantly the stip allows for someone to cheap shot Cena and
give Ryback a dirty fall only to lose clean two straight. That means the
idea of three stages of hell being smart because it gives Ryback a big
win while still losing would then become invalid. This is probably the
one way this match will play out and that would be a real shame for
creative to cop out and pass on an opportunity to strengthen both stars
rather than ONLY Cena!
Doing it that way will help allow for the super Cena story book come
back where he becomes the underdog after losing the first round and
must win the next two in order to over come the odds and keep the gold.
It’s astounding that a guy who has lost clean a handful of times in the
last decade can continue to play underdog to people who have lost the
majority of their PPV matches.
Verdict: Stage 1 Ryback, Stages 2 and 3 Cena. Cena over comes the
odds to retain, Ryback continues to be booked horribly as a maineventer.
World Heavyweight Championship Match - Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio
Does anyone care about this match? I know I don’t! I’m a huge fan of
Dolph Ziggler and I used to like Del Rio before he decided he was going
to have the same match and cut the same promos every week for three
years. Maybe people were right… He isn’t Eddie, he is Mexican JBL.
Actually, worse than JBL, at least JBL could cut a promo before boring
you to death in the ring.
Verdict: Ziggler will retain and hopefully moves on to a real feud now that he is healthy.
Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk
This should be one hell of a match even though the build up has been
one of the worst in recent memory for a match that will have a
blistering hot crowd. Punk could have at least appeared on RAW last
week!
Odd build up aside, I love bother wrestlers and they should tear
down the house in Punk’s home town. These two have mixed it up in a high
profile feud with 2 PPV matches before, however I did feel those
matches left something to be desired. Don't get me wrong, they weren’t
great matches, but I think I kind of over hyped myself for the feud...
Which I find myself doing yet again for this match!
I have a feeling this time the match will be considerably better not
only because it will get ample time with a hot crowd, but because now
Punk is the heel and Jericho is the face. Changing their alignment will
mean a considerably different match as the way matches tend to work, the
heel often carries the match while the face sells. CM Punk has a wide
variety of holds and has been able to piece some incredible matches
together over his career. I think Jericho plays a much better face than
Punk and in ring his moveset features a variety of high flying and catch
moves that will work nicely to set up for come backs and crowd popping
moments. The end result could be a true classic that gives me what I
have been waiting for from these two!
Verdict: Punk will win at home, the question is… Does he stay heel?
Either way if you are actually going to fork out money for this event,
this is the match you pay for… Hands down.
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Shield (c) vs. Randy Orton & Daniel Bryan
This match could go either way. On one hand it could be a cookie
cutter tag match that sees Orton or Bryan cost the other the match and
then set up what should be an amazing feud! However, while the Orton v
Bryan angle is garenteed the match being cookie cutter is not. Daniel
Bryan has been on FIRE! Easily the best thing going in the WWE right now
and after him The Shield are the second hottest commodity. Seth Rollins
and Daniel Bryan don’t do “Cookie cutter” and Reigns and Orton can
easily interject in the match to hit some big spots and create some near
falls.
This match could get wild and with the current card being rather
light we might actually get a nice long match between four guys capable
of tearing down the house. Yes, four… Reigns is still a work in progress
but he knows his strengths as a wrestler and hides his weaknesses well.
He’s perfect for tag wrestling and is blessed with learning alongside
Ambrose and Rollins! Orton is the biggest wild card for this match to go
from “meh” to “holy sh*t!”
If we can awaken the Orton from his feud with Christian and get that
kind of work rate out of him for this Bryan feud, this will easily be
the best feud of the year. This match might be the one that ignites that
fire back in Orton, especially if the feud with Bryan sees him turn
full on heel rather than just a feud based around a stupid tag argument.
Orton has said numerous times he wants to turn and Bryan is getting the
biggest reactions of anyone on the card. Orton will be treated by the
fans as a heel in the feud, so he might as well become one.
Verdict: Shield will retain because Bryan and Orton won’t be able to
coexist. The real question mark will be the effort put forth by the
combatants.
Intercontinental Championship Match: Wade Barrett (c) vs. The Miz vs. Curtis Axel
Really? Really? Who is going to be on the pre-show now? All joking
aside, The Miz is so far gone I don’t even know if he will have a job in
3 years. After getting blamed for a poor PPV buy rate in The Rock’s tag
team return The Miz was jobbed out to just about any pet project the
WWE could come up with. Everybody thought a high profiled face turn
would see him regain momentum and right the ship, and it might have,
however he turned face in a lower mid card feud against 3MB and cut some
REALLY corny promos before moving on to ruin Ric Flair’s return and his
finishing hold. Right now I wouldn’t mind the Miz taking a year or two
off because he has to be getting close to the point of no return.
A funny note going into this match... I was watching RAW last week
and when Miz came out I was surprised to see him without the IC title.
That is because the title has become so meaningless I had forgot he lost
it… That should give you a good idea of what I think of Barrett’s
reign. More and more Barrett looks less like a future main eventer and
more and more is he following into the Cody Rhodes mold. Like Rhodes,
Barrett had a really hot upper mid card run that saw fans clamoring for
him to be elevated to the next level, but there has always been
something missing that makes him seem like an incomplete package. I
honestly don’t blame creative for not pushing them to the next level,
they don’t belong there. It is hard to really explain why this is, maybe
they just hit their plateau early on and really just don't have anymore
left in the tank to take them to that next level. Maybe it is the
infamous "IT factor" that these two just simply don't possess. Whatever
it is, both seem to be going in reverse, but in this rare case creative
is actually trying to push them. The crowd just aren't biting.
Enter the saving grace of this match, Curtis Axel. I think Fandango
was going to win the IC title and when he got hurt they put Axel in as
his replacement for not only the match but the title run. While I’m
still not really sold on Axel, his promos are beyond robotic and his
matches haven’t been anything special either, probably the only cool
thing he has done is hit the McGillicutter on Barrett when he was
getting into the ring. Hopefully this match is what defines Axel’s push.
When I think of the IC title I think Mr. Perfect because back when
he held the title it meant something. He brought prestige and work ethic
to the title and even though it was the second main title it often was
the title fans of the in ring action most looked forward to rather than
the big named main events. If Axel gets the title, especially with the
white vintage look, it should make those old enough to remember Mr.
Perfect (Or those who did their research) mark out. If I’m booking it he
wins it with the Perfect Plex and pretty much sends everyone into a
nerdgasm. Not to mention with the show taking place in Chicago I think
it would actually go over well live.
Verdict: Curtis Axel wins. Likely will pin The Miz.
United States Championship Match: Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Kane
Just had this match for free on Smackdown not too long ago. It was
actually pretty solid, which shouldn’t be surprising considering Ambrose
is a genius. Kane to his credit did solid and sold Ambrose’s finisher
really well. The only issue is, I think that was about as good of a
match as you are going to get out of them. Expect a very similar match
for this. It will be solid but not worth your money.
Verdict: Ambrose to retain. Will likely slam Kane into a ring post/steps, roll him in and hit his finisher for the win.
Divas Championship Match: Kaitlyn (c) vs. AJ Lee
You know say what you will about the Diva’s division, AJ’s acting,
or Kaitlyn’s man legs… This might actually be good! I know, I know… It’s
a Divas match. Unlike most of those this one has a storyline. A
full-blown Kaitlyn v AJ feud has been building up since AJ turned heel
and after RAW things are finally starting to heat up. While it was
incredibly awkward to see Big Zeke steal Monty Brown’s wardrobe and get
into the ring trying to seduce a girl, the angle did an effective job of
embarrassing Kaitlyn. Let’s face it Big E looks like the result of
FACEOFF 2 starring Carlton Banks and Monty Brown. To come in and make
Kaitlyn look like an idiot after she was ready to mate with this
creature, it should speak volumes. Although I did think it was kind of
odd for Big E to pass on her and then high five AJ like it was really
cool to be the awkward third wheel who looks menacing while wearing a
diaper with suspenders and no knee pads.
Regardless, the Divas have a storyline and one that actually had a
decent amount of build up and a good pay off. On top of that AJ Lee is a
very good in ring performer for a Diva. She has trained heavily with
Jay Lethal of TNA/ROH fame and she has a moveset better than half the
men in the WWE. Kaitlyn tries hard and is a lot bigger than AJ which
could make her a powerhouse hell bent on tracking down AJ and making her
pay, but AJ can use her wits and speed to keep one upping her. That is
right folks, story telling in a Divas match! I really hope the women get
a fair shake and some decent time to shine in this one. I’m not a fan
of women’s wrestling by any means but these girls travel year round just
like the men and work hard. At least give them 10 minutes on the PPV!
Let’s hope they do but it would be a bitter sweet to see the women
actually get showcased after the majority of talented divas have already
given up on the company.
Verdict: I’m not sure! I like that. I would guess AJ wins to further
degrade Kaitlyn and take “everything” from her so that the feud can
continue. Although I think it would be cool to see Dolph at ring side
cheating for AJ and then Big E swerves and goes face helping Kaitlyn win
while revealing Kaitlyn as the one playing AJ all this time. Maybe they
could do that for the rematch? I still think Big E needs to get away
from Ziggler and AJ, he just doesn’t fit in.
"Payback" Match Kickoff: Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
Is match kick off the cool way of saying pre-show match? Kind of
surprised to see this one treated so lowly as it features two decent
level stars and the feud has gotten quite a bit of TV time.
The match could be good; Sheamus is cookie cutter as all hell unless
he is in a hard hitting back and forth brawl type of match. Sandow is
more of a brawler in the ring as well and since he is a cowardly heel
who uses his brain, the story should be pretty simple to play off.
Instinctual brute trying to rip the head off of the pompous coward, not
reinventing the wheel but it should be enough to tell a fun story.
Verdict: I would imagine Sandow controls the match with his tactics
before Sheamus eventually manages to catch him and kick his head off
with a Brogue kick… Winner: Sheamus
While I assume many expected me to bury this PPV, this is actually a
show I think has real sleeper potential. The card is short which means
the matches should have ample time. While the match pairings aren’t
anything special, almost every match is padded with a very capable in
ring performer. When you combine time with talent it should equal
quality. It might not be the best PPV but I have a feeling it will hit
the spot on a Sunday night!
Also, it could see the debut of The Wyatt Family! I cannot wait for
them to debut. Bray Wyatt is easily the most interesting and fresh
character in the entire WWE. He plays the character to perfection in and
outside of the ring! Add in his backwoods behemoths as some muscle and
the WWE Universe is going to be taken by storm. If you haven't had the
pleasure of watching Wyatt progress from Husky Harris (who was
criminally underrated) into his current persona, definitely check You
Tube for some of his work on NXT! Brilliant!
That wraps up The Dazzler, feel free to send me feedback or voice
your opinion by contacting me on Twitter @BloatOfHippos or via email
douggarbark@live.com !
Friday, June 14, 2013
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Fandango (Written pre-debut)
Posted by Doug Garbark on 01/04/2013 at 04:33 PM
Welcome to the first of many “Strange Bedfellows†a column where I, The Intellectual Savior of the Internet Masses, will be tagging with different topics each week! I will spare you the long winded introduction about my wrestling street credentials and go right to the topic you have been yearning for… Fandangoo!
The Fandangoo character has epic failure written all over it. WWE is taking a guy who has been a total jobber for the past 2 years and giving him a Dancing With The Stars inspired gimmick. While some see this as having failure written all over it, I on the other hand see gold!
Johnny Curtis has potential and somehow managed get over enough to win NXT season 4 despite WWE pushing for Brodus Clay to win. Unfortunately he went on to follow up with his big win to become the guy who poured milk on his head and did a bunch of vignettes that ultimately led to him debuting in a squash match against Mark Henry. Curtis then returned to NXT where he had some solid matches and feuded with Bateman in what would be the only thing of worth to happen in the time between NXT going off TV to the rebooted FCW merger. Following the merger Curtis got lost in the shuffle and lately topped his horribly booked TV debut with an even dumber tag title cash in using his NXT win against Team Hell No. Rather than teaming with his NXT pro (R Truth) as he was supposed to, he teamed with his Perfectly Weird tag partner Michael McGillicutty to lose a match an untelevised title match.
Now I’m sure the webmaster of the OFFICIAL Johnny Curtis fansite is up in arms that he is being given a ridiculous new gimmick as an over the top dancer. They will likely gripe “Ermagerd! Johnny Cakes is so much better than The Shield or Dolph Ziggler why is he being held down by HHH!†Because many don’t realize that the guy who performed bad puns on himself and went on to create a gimmick where he is a self-proclaimed weirdo is actually better off as a dancer. Curtis has failed to get over with the audience so far in his career, so it makes sense to give him a character that will naturally attract heat. I’ve seen a few of his house show matches as Fandangoo and I must say it seems to be working. The gimmick should be his ticket onto a main roster. Whether he will drop the ball or run with it is to be seen but I’d rather be playing a joke character on TV than being a joke off TV.
The question is how do you debut a character like Fandangoo and make it stick? Well, since this is a wrestling audience most people in the crowd will assume he is playing a homosexual character, because men that dance are always gay (rolls eyes). Which is why it makes sense to attach a diva to Fandangoo that can dance with him and help interfere in his matches. Since the divas division is an utter disaster the diva selected doesn’t really matter and for most the super model selected is probably better fit as a dancer rather than an in ring performer anyhow.
From there we need an opponent. Assuming WWE aren’t completely brain dead Fandangoo will be a heel when he debuts, so you want a credible baby face to be his first victim. My selection would be Brodus Clay because audiences love him, he has a dancing character, and the two have worked together in the past having been NXT season 4 finalists. Book Fandangoo to criticize Clay’s dancing technique and start attacking Clay every time he starts to dance leading up to a match on one of the meaningless PPVs. Other potential opponents could be Hornswoggle and Khali who I think have been dancing around together ( I try to not watch these segment) however beating up a midget and giant while performing a dance number will likely garner cheap heat from crowds. Sure, it’s stupid but sometimes it’s less about creating a classic feud or putting on a 5 star match and more about getting over. Curtis needs to get over. At this point it isn’t about making a splash it’s about staying on TV longer than a month because if this character gets axed Curtis might not be far behind.
Follow Doug on Twitter: @douggarbark
(If you guys want to see any topics discussed in future “Strange Bedfellows†columns, request them via Twitter and I shall give you a voice.)
Welcome to the first of many “Strange Bedfellows†a column where I, The Intellectual Savior of the Internet Masses, will be tagging with different topics each week! I will spare you the long winded introduction about my wrestling street credentials and go right to the topic you have been yearning for… Fandangoo!
The Fandangoo character has epic failure written all over it. WWE is taking a guy who has been a total jobber for the past 2 years and giving him a Dancing With The Stars inspired gimmick. While some see this as having failure written all over it, I on the other hand see gold!
Johnny Curtis has potential and somehow managed get over enough to win NXT season 4 despite WWE pushing for Brodus Clay to win. Unfortunately he went on to follow up with his big win to become the guy who poured milk on his head and did a bunch of vignettes that ultimately led to him debuting in a squash match against Mark Henry. Curtis then returned to NXT where he had some solid matches and feuded with Bateman in what would be the only thing of worth to happen in the time between NXT going off TV to the rebooted FCW merger. Following the merger Curtis got lost in the shuffle and lately topped his horribly booked TV debut with an even dumber tag title cash in using his NXT win against Team Hell No. Rather than teaming with his NXT pro (R Truth) as he was supposed to, he teamed with his Perfectly Weird tag partner Michael McGillicutty to lose a match an untelevised title match.
Now I’m sure the webmaster of the OFFICIAL Johnny Curtis fansite is up in arms that he is being given a ridiculous new gimmick as an over the top dancer. They will likely gripe “Ermagerd! Johnny Cakes is so much better than The Shield or Dolph Ziggler why is he being held down by HHH!†Because many don’t realize that the guy who performed bad puns on himself and went on to create a gimmick where he is a self-proclaimed weirdo is actually better off as a dancer. Curtis has failed to get over with the audience so far in his career, so it makes sense to give him a character that will naturally attract heat. I’ve seen a few of his house show matches as Fandangoo and I must say it seems to be working. The gimmick should be his ticket onto a main roster. Whether he will drop the ball or run with it is to be seen but I’d rather be playing a joke character on TV than being a joke off TV.
The question is how do you debut a character like Fandangoo and make it stick? Well, since this is a wrestling audience most people in the crowd will assume he is playing a homosexual character, because men that dance are always gay (rolls eyes). Which is why it makes sense to attach a diva to Fandangoo that can dance with him and help interfere in his matches. Since the divas division is an utter disaster the diva selected doesn’t really matter and for most the super model selected is probably better fit as a dancer rather than an in ring performer anyhow.
From there we need an opponent. Assuming WWE aren’t completely brain dead Fandangoo will be a heel when he debuts, so you want a credible baby face to be his first victim. My selection would be Brodus Clay because audiences love him, he has a dancing character, and the two have worked together in the past having been NXT season 4 finalists. Book Fandangoo to criticize Clay’s dancing technique and start attacking Clay every time he starts to dance leading up to a match on one of the meaningless PPVs. Other potential opponents could be Hornswoggle and Khali who I think have been dancing around together ( I try to not watch these segment) however beating up a midget and giant while performing a dance number will likely garner cheap heat from crowds. Sure, it’s stupid but sometimes it’s less about creating a classic feud or putting on a 5 star match and more about getting over. Curtis needs to get over. At this point it isn’t about making a splash it’s about staying on TV longer than a month because if this character gets axed Curtis might not be far behind.
Follow Doug on Twitter: @douggarbark
(If you guys want to see any topics discussed in future “Strange Bedfellows†columns, request them via Twitter and I shall give you a voice.)
On The Chopping Block
Posted by Doug Garbark on 01/13/2013 at 11:55 PM
With Trent Barreta gone and rumors swirling of more cuts on the horizon, Strange Bedfellows will focus on the likely candidates to join Trent on the unemployment line.
Evan Bourne: A bummed foot and wellness suspensions have kept Bourne away from the ring for almost two years. For a mid card act who sadly doesn’t do much more than form throw together baby face teams and sell to the stars, he has to be in hot water after the suspensions. I loved Bourne’s work as Matt Sydal in ROH but in WWE he has been reduced to a glorified jobber who takes a beating and hits a few beautiful highflying spots to get the crowds fired up. With PAC (Adrian Neville in FCW) and El Generico being signed plus guys like Gabriel and Kidd already capable of filling Bourne’s spot, is he really needed? The best thing that could have happened to Bourne was the injury Tyson Kidd recently suffered, as there is a hole in the roster that he can walk in and fill perfectly. Will he team with Gabriel in Kidd’s place or will Air Boom reform? Or will he be released once he heals? This is a hard one to call and while I’d love to see him stick around its not like he wouldn’t be fine in TNA’s X Division.
Mason Ryan: Yes, this guy still has a job. Besides looking like Batista he is also known for putting on some of the worst matches of any contracted star. Sure has a cool look and his long hair and beard have helped separate him from the Batista comparisons but that is the least of his worries. Green, stiff, and corny, he sounds like something that should be flushed down the toilet and I hope his contract is. His best chance of staying on the roster is to continue doing exactly what he has been doing over the last year, because he can’t get fired as long as WWE doesn’t realize he is still employed.
Camacho: The son of Meng! Once the shock of whom his father is and how much he looks like David Otunga, without his hat and glasses, wears off, you soon realize he also wrestles like David Otunga. Camacho has nothing going for him and his role of an enforcer might look like it works when he’s posing next to Hunico, but when he stands next to a typical WWE star he looks like a stocky dwarf. With Hunico on the shelf and nobody for this guy to ride via bicycle to the ring, what is this guy going to do? If WWE wanted Hernandez they should have just hired him.
Curt Hawkins: Unless he reunites with Zack Ryder I don’t see Hawkins having much more time to toil on Superstars. The deathblow of his career is the fact that he is just a poor man’s Zack Ryder. His biggest perk is his strong in Internet following. It isn’t that great of a perk when you look at how over Ryder is beyond his Internet cult following and he still can’t catch a break. Hawkins also isn’t getting any younger and with an incredible crop of young talent coming up in the WWE, many better than Curt Hawkins, how much longer will WWE pay a guy because he is well liked back stage and has Twitter followers? I’d prefer to see him and Ryder team back up but it probably would hurt Ryder more than it would help Hawkins, not to mention the Jersey Shore gimmick is already played out and the time to capitalize on the popularity of the show has come and gone.
Yoshi Tatsu: He debuted similar to Kofi Kingston on SyFy’s ECW as an ethnic wrestler that got some pretty big wins over Shelton Benjamin and William Regal right off the bat. Once ECW was canceled he came to Raw and I believe he won some type of battle royal before Mania, which led me to believe his push would continue. It didn’t happen and while he was winning on NXT and Superstars a good bit he never got the call up to the main rosters. Yoshi seems like someone that could work in WWE, even if it’s in more of a comedic Tajiri inspired role but for whatever reason WWE aren’t pulling the trigger. Luckily he hasn’t been doing jobs regularly on TV and Tatsu could debut with a fresh start if WWE want to push him but if they haven’t seen the “it factor†in him yet, is he doing anything new to change that?
Ezekiel Jackson: When Big Zeke joined The Corre he shoved down our throats with his repertoire of 10 scoop slams, a standing Rock Bottom, and a Torture Rack. The world seemed to be his oyster before he took to the mic and his soft timid voice echoed through the arena. He lost the IC title two weeks later and it seems like he hasn’t won a match since. I’ve read recently he’s been injured but he wasn’t being used when he was healthy. Zeke isn’t young and he has shown no improvement in the ring. The only thing that has changed about Big Zeke in the last 3 years was the fact that he grew weird hair and went from scowling to smiling AKA Big Geek. With Big E Langston debuting and Mark Henry likely to return at some point there isn’t any use for Big Zeke.
Derrick Bateman: Bateman has tons of energy and a personality that could easily land him a comedic role on weekly episodes of Raw or Smackdown. I loved his interactions with Daniel Bryan on NXT and the duo seemed to have so much chemistry that I was surprised WWE didn’t further the pairing when Bateman was eliminated. Bateman has a personality that reminds me of Colt Cabana and he has developed a new character “That USA guy.†The character has yet to see the light of day and I’m not even certain there are plans for an actual character or if it was just a joke on Twitter. Bateman’s feud with Curtis has proven Bateman is capable of being involved in an ongoing angle, developing stories through backstage segments and promos, and also telling a story in the ring. I really hope he isn’t a victim of the cuts but it wouldn’t be shocking to see him get the axe.
JTG: Ever since the departure of Shad, JTG has spiraled into lower mid card hell and has not even come close to finding a way out of it. At first he tried to do the Crime Time gimmick as a solo act, which tanked. He followed that failure with an even bigger failure as he aligned with Alicia Fox and was given a make over. The make up included dropping jeans for tights and his charisma for seriousness. The change didn’t even result in a TV run and he just continued to job out in tights, with even less of the crowd knowing who he was. Couple his inability to grow as a performer with his venomous Twitter rants about the company and it feels like he has some type of black mail leverage over someone to still have a job. If he is cut it will be two years over due.
Who is on your list? Throw me a tweet @DougGarbark and let me know!
With Trent Barreta gone and rumors swirling of more cuts on the horizon, Strange Bedfellows will focus on the likely candidates to join Trent on the unemployment line.
Evan Bourne: A bummed foot and wellness suspensions have kept Bourne away from the ring for almost two years. For a mid card act who sadly doesn’t do much more than form throw together baby face teams and sell to the stars, he has to be in hot water after the suspensions. I loved Bourne’s work as Matt Sydal in ROH but in WWE he has been reduced to a glorified jobber who takes a beating and hits a few beautiful highflying spots to get the crowds fired up. With PAC (Adrian Neville in FCW) and El Generico being signed plus guys like Gabriel and Kidd already capable of filling Bourne’s spot, is he really needed? The best thing that could have happened to Bourne was the injury Tyson Kidd recently suffered, as there is a hole in the roster that he can walk in and fill perfectly. Will he team with Gabriel in Kidd’s place or will Air Boom reform? Or will he be released once he heals? This is a hard one to call and while I’d love to see him stick around its not like he wouldn’t be fine in TNA’s X Division.
Mason Ryan: Yes, this guy still has a job. Besides looking like Batista he is also known for putting on some of the worst matches of any contracted star. Sure has a cool look and his long hair and beard have helped separate him from the Batista comparisons but that is the least of his worries. Green, stiff, and corny, he sounds like something that should be flushed down the toilet and I hope his contract is. His best chance of staying on the roster is to continue doing exactly what he has been doing over the last year, because he can’t get fired as long as WWE doesn’t realize he is still employed.
Camacho: The son of Meng! Once the shock of whom his father is and how much he looks like David Otunga, without his hat and glasses, wears off, you soon realize he also wrestles like David Otunga. Camacho has nothing going for him and his role of an enforcer might look like it works when he’s posing next to Hunico, but when he stands next to a typical WWE star he looks like a stocky dwarf. With Hunico on the shelf and nobody for this guy to ride via bicycle to the ring, what is this guy going to do? If WWE wanted Hernandez they should have just hired him.
Curt Hawkins: Unless he reunites with Zack Ryder I don’t see Hawkins having much more time to toil on Superstars. The deathblow of his career is the fact that he is just a poor man’s Zack Ryder. His biggest perk is his strong in Internet following. It isn’t that great of a perk when you look at how over Ryder is beyond his Internet cult following and he still can’t catch a break. Hawkins also isn’t getting any younger and with an incredible crop of young talent coming up in the WWE, many better than Curt Hawkins, how much longer will WWE pay a guy because he is well liked back stage and has Twitter followers? I’d prefer to see him and Ryder team back up but it probably would hurt Ryder more than it would help Hawkins, not to mention the Jersey Shore gimmick is already played out and the time to capitalize on the popularity of the show has come and gone.
Yoshi Tatsu: He debuted similar to Kofi Kingston on SyFy’s ECW as an ethnic wrestler that got some pretty big wins over Shelton Benjamin and William Regal right off the bat. Once ECW was canceled he came to Raw and I believe he won some type of battle royal before Mania, which led me to believe his push would continue. It didn’t happen and while he was winning on NXT and Superstars a good bit he never got the call up to the main rosters. Yoshi seems like someone that could work in WWE, even if it’s in more of a comedic Tajiri inspired role but for whatever reason WWE aren’t pulling the trigger. Luckily he hasn’t been doing jobs regularly on TV and Tatsu could debut with a fresh start if WWE want to push him but if they haven’t seen the “it factor†in him yet, is he doing anything new to change that?
Ezekiel Jackson: When Big Zeke joined The Corre he shoved down our throats with his repertoire of 10 scoop slams, a standing Rock Bottom, and a Torture Rack. The world seemed to be his oyster before he took to the mic and his soft timid voice echoed through the arena. He lost the IC title two weeks later and it seems like he hasn’t won a match since. I’ve read recently he’s been injured but he wasn’t being used when he was healthy. Zeke isn’t young and he has shown no improvement in the ring. The only thing that has changed about Big Zeke in the last 3 years was the fact that he grew weird hair and went from scowling to smiling AKA Big Geek. With Big E Langston debuting and Mark Henry likely to return at some point there isn’t any use for Big Zeke.
Derrick Bateman: Bateman has tons of energy and a personality that could easily land him a comedic role on weekly episodes of Raw or Smackdown. I loved his interactions with Daniel Bryan on NXT and the duo seemed to have so much chemistry that I was surprised WWE didn’t further the pairing when Bateman was eliminated. Bateman has a personality that reminds me of Colt Cabana and he has developed a new character “That USA guy.†The character has yet to see the light of day and I’m not even certain there are plans for an actual character or if it was just a joke on Twitter. Bateman’s feud with Curtis has proven Bateman is capable of being involved in an ongoing angle, developing stories through backstage segments and promos, and also telling a story in the ring. I really hope he isn’t a victim of the cuts but it wouldn’t be shocking to see him get the axe.
JTG: Ever since the departure of Shad, JTG has spiraled into lower mid card hell and has not even come close to finding a way out of it. At first he tried to do the Crime Time gimmick as a solo act, which tanked. He followed that failure with an even bigger failure as he aligned with Alicia Fox and was given a make over. The make up included dropping jeans for tights and his charisma for seriousness. The change didn’t even result in a TV run and he just continued to job out in tights, with even less of the crowd knowing who he was. Couple his inability to grow as a performer with his venomous Twitter rants about the company and it feels like he has some type of black mail leverage over someone to still have a job. If he is cut it will be two years over due.
Who is on your list? Throw me a tweet @DougGarbark and let me know!
WEED THE PEOPLE
Posted by Doug Garbark on 02/22/2013 at 05:37 PM
What a whirlwind of events for Jack Swagger since returning from a 5-month hiatus! He returns with no story or momentum in the typical role of a mid card heel receiving a small push aka fighting Kofi Kingston. He then received Zeb Colter (Dutch Mantel) as a manager which was just plain awesome because Zeb has one of the best beards in the history of the WWE. With a beard trifecta of side whiskers, a vast and unruly chin part, topped off with a mustache that would make the bad guy from Jumanji blush, Zeb seemed like the perfect guy to propel Swagger out of his doofus role. Given Zeb’s promos were a bit long-winded and repetitive, he made Swagger one of the most interesting stars in the WWE. Once Swagger qualified for the Elimination Chamber WWE had little option but to make him the victor because otherwise his push would have been killed in less than a month since it begun. Booking him to win the Chamber match made sense but what didn’t is; why was he even in the Elimination Chamber match?
Answer: Creative can’t book! Like I mentioned in my last column, you can’t just put people in title matches to get them over every time. It’s the only booking technique creative have up their sleeve anymore. The result is Henry and Swagger both being in the Chamber match and only one could be a dominant wrestlers that gets teamed up on and then attacks the competitors post match. Which means Swagger had to win or look like he isn’t a serious top level talent but just a filler jobber. This resulted in Creative handcuffing themselves and being forced to make Swagger win and a day later he gets pulled over with a DUI and possession of weed. Is he a 17-year-old high school drop out? Grow up, already! He had 5 months to drink and smoke weed, he can’t just act normal for a few weeks and get the push of his career?
I’ve always been a huge supporter of Jack Swagger but what a blunder. There are plenty of guys on the roster who could have used Zeb Colter and Swaggers mega push and they would been better in the role than Swagger but those guys probably won’t even be booked at Wrestlemania. How about Kassius Ohno (Chris Hero)? Hell, he has a better look for the role than Swagger! I’d have Zeb disown Swagger after he loses to a Mexican at Wrestlemania and then have a debuting Ohno beat Swagger down on behalf of Zeb the RAW following Mania. Then just move on with the character and storyline as planned. Swagger can go back to his rightful position of bumbling buffoon that gets sat on by the Hip Hop Hippo’s (Brodus Clay and Tensai).
In my opinion WWE shouldn’t just blame Swagger but also creative for not having the confidence in themselves to build Swaggers’ character. Instead they have opted to take short cuts and shove him down our throats trying to force us into believing he is a credible main eventer. No different than Del Rio and Ryback. So far Ryback has lost every big match since being turned into a Main Eventer and is now seemingly about to turn heel. Makes sense, he’s over huge and is a real risk at taking the top face role off of Cena, better turn him into a cowardly heel before that happens!
Meanwhile, Creative are using every cheap tactic in the book to get Del Rio over but he just feels like a corny Looney Toons version of Eddie Guerrero. Like always with semi-main eventers in WWE, everything being done to get them over is to generate short-term heat. People like to see Big Show tortured but once Del Rio moves on to his next feud, how does playing pranks on Big Show further his character? No different than Sheamus, he has no character either! Once they lose the title what is their character? There is a reason that everyone on the roster that drops the WWE/World title just end up right back where they were before their title push. It’s because the title is the character not the wrestler. If you want to know the hierarchy of the WWE it’s John Cena > WWE Title> World Title> Guy feuding with Cena > New guy being built up to hold one of the titles. Obviously the part timers are in a league of their own and I’m sure people will argue that Punk is in there somewhere but is he? He held the title for over a year and his feud with Cena has been done to death. Where is he going to end up once his little stint with The Rock and Cena ends after ‘Mania? He doesn’t really even have a character anymore, he could go back to the Straight Edge gimmick but for the last year his character has been the WWE Champion that doesn’t get proper billing or respect. Without the title that character doesn’t exist and there aren’t many top faces for him to feud with, which means he drops back down into upper mid card hell.
WE THE PEOPLE are sick of panic booking and the over reliance on part time talent to generate interest in the product. Use the talent on the roster to their full potential and quit playing with them for a few months and replacing them with a shiny new toy. Even mid carders need some type of character to keep them relevant, why do you think Santino has had such staying power? He’s a joke character but being a joke stands apart from being generic. That’s it for The Dazzler this week. Have a safe weekend and try to avoid cops if you are piss drunk and harboring a bag of drugs!
Feel free to voice your opinions on Twitter @DougGarbark or through email douggarbark@live.com.
What a whirlwind of events for Jack Swagger since returning from a 5-month hiatus! He returns with no story or momentum in the typical role of a mid card heel receiving a small push aka fighting Kofi Kingston. He then received Zeb Colter (Dutch Mantel) as a manager which was just plain awesome because Zeb has one of the best beards in the history of the WWE. With a beard trifecta of side whiskers, a vast and unruly chin part, topped off with a mustache that would make the bad guy from Jumanji blush, Zeb seemed like the perfect guy to propel Swagger out of his doofus role. Given Zeb’s promos were a bit long-winded and repetitive, he made Swagger one of the most interesting stars in the WWE. Once Swagger qualified for the Elimination Chamber WWE had little option but to make him the victor because otherwise his push would have been killed in less than a month since it begun. Booking him to win the Chamber match made sense but what didn’t is; why was he even in the Elimination Chamber match?
Answer: Creative can’t book! Like I mentioned in my last column, you can’t just put people in title matches to get them over every time. It’s the only booking technique creative have up their sleeve anymore. The result is Henry and Swagger both being in the Chamber match and only one could be a dominant wrestlers that gets teamed up on and then attacks the competitors post match. Which means Swagger had to win or look like he isn’t a serious top level talent but just a filler jobber. This resulted in Creative handcuffing themselves and being forced to make Swagger win and a day later he gets pulled over with a DUI and possession of weed. Is he a 17-year-old high school drop out? Grow up, already! He had 5 months to drink and smoke weed, he can’t just act normal for a few weeks and get the push of his career?
I’ve always been a huge supporter of Jack Swagger but what a blunder. There are plenty of guys on the roster who could have used Zeb Colter and Swaggers mega push and they would been better in the role than Swagger but those guys probably won’t even be booked at Wrestlemania. How about Kassius Ohno (Chris Hero)? Hell, he has a better look for the role than Swagger! I’d have Zeb disown Swagger after he loses to a Mexican at Wrestlemania and then have a debuting Ohno beat Swagger down on behalf of Zeb the RAW following Mania. Then just move on with the character and storyline as planned. Swagger can go back to his rightful position of bumbling buffoon that gets sat on by the Hip Hop Hippo’s (Brodus Clay and Tensai).
In my opinion WWE shouldn’t just blame Swagger but also creative for not having the confidence in themselves to build Swaggers’ character. Instead they have opted to take short cuts and shove him down our throats trying to force us into believing he is a credible main eventer. No different than Del Rio and Ryback. So far Ryback has lost every big match since being turned into a Main Eventer and is now seemingly about to turn heel. Makes sense, he’s over huge and is a real risk at taking the top face role off of Cena, better turn him into a cowardly heel before that happens!
Meanwhile, Creative are using every cheap tactic in the book to get Del Rio over but he just feels like a corny Looney Toons version of Eddie Guerrero. Like always with semi-main eventers in WWE, everything being done to get them over is to generate short-term heat. People like to see Big Show tortured but once Del Rio moves on to his next feud, how does playing pranks on Big Show further his character? No different than Sheamus, he has no character either! Once they lose the title what is their character? There is a reason that everyone on the roster that drops the WWE/World title just end up right back where they were before their title push. It’s because the title is the character not the wrestler. If you want to know the hierarchy of the WWE it’s John Cena > WWE Title> World Title> Guy feuding with Cena > New guy being built up to hold one of the titles. Obviously the part timers are in a league of their own and I’m sure people will argue that Punk is in there somewhere but is he? He held the title for over a year and his feud with Cena has been done to death. Where is he going to end up once his little stint with The Rock and Cena ends after ‘Mania? He doesn’t really even have a character anymore, he could go back to the Straight Edge gimmick but for the last year his character has been the WWE Champion that doesn’t get proper billing or respect. Without the title that character doesn’t exist and there aren’t many top faces for him to feud with, which means he drops back down into upper mid card hell.
WE THE PEOPLE are sick of panic booking and the over reliance on part time talent to generate interest in the product. Use the talent on the roster to their full potential and quit playing with them for a few months and replacing them with a shiny new toy. Even mid carders need some type of character to keep them relevant, why do you think Santino has had such staying power? He’s a joke character but being a joke stands apart from being generic. That’s it for The Dazzler this week. Have a safe weekend and try to avoid cops if you are piss drunk and harboring a bag of drugs!
Feel free to voice your opinions on Twitter @DougGarbark or through email douggarbark@live.com.
Are Mid-Card Titles Useless?
Posted by Doug Garbark on 04/08/2013 at 06:03 PM
So, Wrestle Mania wasn’t anything special! Not surprised because the build up was incredibly weak and on paper the three best matches have already been done. As it seems to be a new tradition for WWE the cards for Mania have often been three big matches and a bunch of filler crap that could be on RAW and not even main event the show.
Mania is a four-hour extravaganza but only the last two hours are worth watching. While lame, it isn’t that unexpected but what was unexpected was amidst the two hours of filler the US title and IC title weren’t defended. The show could have benefited from showcasing hard workers such as Kofi Kingston, Wade Barrett, The Miz, Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes, Heath Slater, Santino, and in my opinion the best in ring worker over the past few months Antonio Cesaro. Mania had a true lack of high energy stars willing to go out there and throw caution to the wind for a Wrestle Mania moment.
In the past Money In The Bank ladder matches would fill this void but since MITB received its own PPV there has been a black hole in the heart of Mania. Maybe throwing more teams into the tag title match or booking a fatal four way or triple threat for the mid card titles would have taken this show from largely forgettable to something awesome. The Cesaro v R Truth v Kofi Kingston v Wade Barrett US title match from RAW a few weeks ago was one of the most entertaining matches WWE has put on in quite some time. Unfortunately, creative don’t seem to agree and if the titles won’t be showcased on the biggest stage then they probably shouldn’t even exist. If WWE were looking for a formula to determine if they should keep or cut a title I would imagine an easy formula would be to ask themselves “This title match or Puff Daddy and some homely chick mumbling through songs from 1998?” If they pick Puff Daddy then the title should be removed from TV quicker than Mordecai.
After all the IC and US titles used to be stepping stones for stars to ascend to World Title status but clearly this no longer the case. If you consider Kofi Kingston and John Morrison have held the titles what seems like a million times and have never gained any sort of ground from holding them. It seems like the mid card titles are little more than decorations put on jobbers putting over new stars so that the win seems to carry more meaning. Do they even carry that value anymore? Replacing the mid card titles are old wrestlers who instead use past accolades to put stars over. Jericho, Big Show, Kane, and the likes just use their names to put stars over and it is more effective than beating IC champion The Miz with or without the title, as Brodus Clay found out the hard way. While established stars putting over new comers is nothing new to wrestling, it seems recently the notion is being beaten to death. How many times can Jericho “put people over” before it begins to start hurting him more than it is helping them? We all know The Miz is trying to emulate Jericho and is failing but lately it seems like Jericho is trying to emulate The Miz by jobbing to anyone with a heart beat, unfortunately Jericho is the best in the world at what he does, and he is nailing his Miz impersonation.
Horrible booking, while the root of every WWE issue, isn’t the only reason the mid level titles are becoming extinct. Killing the brand extension has hurt WWE in many ways but primarily it killed the idea that WWE could experiment with up and comers as champions before having them come to RAW and try carrying the real WWE title. Smackdown made stars out of guys like Edge, Rey Mysterio, CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan, and a bunch of others who were able to rule the roost for a period of time on the B show and appear important. Now that the brands are dead these guys are completely lost in the shuffle and the mid card acts that would get decent time on Smackdown to show off and make an impact like Dolph Ziggler no longer get that chance. Smackdown has become a glorified house show that sees the matches from RAW repeated or upcoming matches for future RAW’s given a test run. This has turned the World title into essentially the IC title, which is a shame because it did feel more important than the US, and IC titles before the brand extension.
Beyond cheapening the title and slowing progression of new stars the lack of a brand extension leaves little to no reason to watch Smackdown. I rarely watch Smackdown and never feel like I have missed anything by neglecting it. The only thing in the last year of worth to happen on the show was Del Rio winning the title over Big Show but luckily WWE realize nobody watches the show so they spoiled it and reminded us it exists and that we should watch it. The match was good but the rest of the show stunk so it didn’t convince me to start watching religiously again. It wasn’t too long ago that the show merited a weekly watch as it featured longer more exciting matches than RAW and often had a collection of internet darlings that would bait die hard fans into tuning in. Now all of those stars are on RAW and to make matters worse RAW is now 3 hours giving it even more time to use would be Smackdown talent and put on longer matches. The end result is a useless B show that no longer acts as a breeding ground for talented up and comers and is just a RAW recap show that takes place on one of the most inconvenient days of the week.
With that out of the way I had a few more subjects I wanted to touch base on but don’t think they merit their own column so I will include them here.
@WWE using too many “part timers.” – Yes, The Rock, Taker, HHH, Brock, and even Jericho aren’t going to be around constantly but the notion that WWE should use existing stars who work their asses off every day of the year over part timers is ridiculous. What Superstars could replace them? I know, I know, if creative could book they would have legit stars that could stand alone in big match situations. That may be true but a lot of the stars have nobody to blame but themselves for not breaking into the upper echelon of the WWE. Tyson Kidd is a perfect example. I love Tyson Kidd and his matches are always fast paced, technical, and brilliantly strung together no matter who they are against and what show they are on. Kidd clearly puts hour upon hour into training, planning spots, and studying matches. Lost in these hours of toil are the time spent to developing any sort of character and working on public speaking to cut promos. Wrestling is 50% in ring work and 50% storytelling and it boggles my mind to see some of these guys devote so much time to 50% of the business while completely neglecting the other half. Sure, creative couldn’t book a re-run of Friends without screwing it up but the wrestlers aren’t doing themselves any favors either. You can’t main event if you can’t wrestle AND talk to at least a certain degree, unless your name is Goldberg, who must have been a political mastermind back stage to get the push he received.
Another thing to consider is that the best in ring matches of Wrestle Mania the last two years included part timers, so they are bringing in casual fans with their star power, delivering the best promos leading up to the event, and delivering the best matches during the show. They might not be around all year but when they are they are relied heavily upon and they can be trusted not to crumble under pressure. I will take this a step further by saying that I buy the PPVs just to watch the Undertaker matches and his matches are not only the best on the show but usually the best of the entire year. That said if you don’t like the part timers and want to see the main stay guys get the spot light, skip Mania and buy Backlash when they all leave. Yeah, that is what I thought…
@ The Rock – It should be interesting to see what becomes of The Rock. There is little left for The Rock to do other than a potential tiebreaker match with John Cena. He is a busy dude and it will be interesting to see if he sticks around to have matches with lower billed stars, even the likes of Randy Orton. The days of watching The Rock in-ring might be coming to an end. Either way his return has been enjoyable and if he goes away for awhile it will make things seem a lot fresher when he returns down the line.
@Brock Lesnar – I don’t know about this guy. I was fired up when he came back and Brock and Cena had me eating out of the palm of their hands in their match. The Super Cena ending rubbed me the wrong way and really hurt Brock in my eyes. We all expected him to wrestle about 5 matches throughout the year however the number was only 3 and 2 of them were against HHH which wasn’t a feud I cared to see. I don’t know if resigning him for only 3 matches a year is worth it to WWE. It would be laughable to try and bill him as an unstoppable monster when he has had 2 opponents since being back and has lost clean to both. If he isn’t going to agree to do some RAW matches and at least 5 PPVs I don’t think he’s worth keeping around. To me the handling of Brock Lesnar is just WCW all over again. WWE had a cash cow but rather than milk money out of it they would rather flex their muscles and make an example out of anyone who rubs Vince the wrong way. The only things that truly pay for that type of business are the fans and the companies banking account.
Contact me on Twitter @DougGarbark or via email douggarbark@live.com to further the discussion or bring up topics you would like to see discussed. Until then, this is THE DAZZLER!
So, Wrestle Mania wasn’t anything special! Not surprised because the build up was incredibly weak and on paper the three best matches have already been done. As it seems to be a new tradition for WWE the cards for Mania have often been three big matches and a bunch of filler crap that could be on RAW and not even main event the show.
Mania is a four-hour extravaganza but only the last two hours are worth watching. While lame, it isn’t that unexpected but what was unexpected was amidst the two hours of filler the US title and IC title weren’t defended. The show could have benefited from showcasing hard workers such as Kofi Kingston, Wade Barrett, The Miz, Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes, Heath Slater, Santino, and in my opinion the best in ring worker over the past few months Antonio Cesaro. Mania had a true lack of high energy stars willing to go out there and throw caution to the wind for a Wrestle Mania moment.
In the past Money In The Bank ladder matches would fill this void but since MITB received its own PPV there has been a black hole in the heart of Mania. Maybe throwing more teams into the tag title match or booking a fatal four way or triple threat for the mid card titles would have taken this show from largely forgettable to something awesome. The Cesaro v R Truth v Kofi Kingston v Wade Barrett US title match from RAW a few weeks ago was one of the most entertaining matches WWE has put on in quite some time. Unfortunately, creative don’t seem to agree and if the titles won’t be showcased on the biggest stage then they probably shouldn’t even exist. If WWE were looking for a formula to determine if they should keep or cut a title I would imagine an easy formula would be to ask themselves “This title match or Puff Daddy and some homely chick mumbling through songs from 1998?” If they pick Puff Daddy then the title should be removed from TV quicker than Mordecai.
After all the IC and US titles used to be stepping stones for stars to ascend to World Title status but clearly this no longer the case. If you consider Kofi Kingston and John Morrison have held the titles what seems like a million times and have never gained any sort of ground from holding them. It seems like the mid card titles are little more than decorations put on jobbers putting over new stars so that the win seems to carry more meaning. Do they even carry that value anymore? Replacing the mid card titles are old wrestlers who instead use past accolades to put stars over. Jericho, Big Show, Kane, and the likes just use their names to put stars over and it is more effective than beating IC champion The Miz with or without the title, as Brodus Clay found out the hard way. While established stars putting over new comers is nothing new to wrestling, it seems recently the notion is being beaten to death. How many times can Jericho “put people over” before it begins to start hurting him more than it is helping them? We all know The Miz is trying to emulate Jericho and is failing but lately it seems like Jericho is trying to emulate The Miz by jobbing to anyone with a heart beat, unfortunately Jericho is the best in the world at what he does, and he is nailing his Miz impersonation.
Horrible booking, while the root of every WWE issue, isn’t the only reason the mid level titles are becoming extinct. Killing the brand extension has hurt WWE in many ways but primarily it killed the idea that WWE could experiment with up and comers as champions before having them come to RAW and try carrying the real WWE title. Smackdown made stars out of guys like Edge, Rey Mysterio, CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan, and a bunch of others who were able to rule the roost for a period of time on the B show and appear important. Now that the brands are dead these guys are completely lost in the shuffle and the mid card acts that would get decent time on Smackdown to show off and make an impact like Dolph Ziggler no longer get that chance. Smackdown has become a glorified house show that sees the matches from RAW repeated or upcoming matches for future RAW’s given a test run. This has turned the World title into essentially the IC title, which is a shame because it did feel more important than the US, and IC titles before the brand extension.
Beyond cheapening the title and slowing progression of new stars the lack of a brand extension leaves little to no reason to watch Smackdown. I rarely watch Smackdown and never feel like I have missed anything by neglecting it. The only thing in the last year of worth to happen on the show was Del Rio winning the title over Big Show but luckily WWE realize nobody watches the show so they spoiled it and reminded us it exists and that we should watch it. The match was good but the rest of the show stunk so it didn’t convince me to start watching religiously again. It wasn’t too long ago that the show merited a weekly watch as it featured longer more exciting matches than RAW and often had a collection of internet darlings that would bait die hard fans into tuning in. Now all of those stars are on RAW and to make matters worse RAW is now 3 hours giving it even more time to use would be Smackdown talent and put on longer matches. The end result is a useless B show that no longer acts as a breeding ground for talented up and comers and is just a RAW recap show that takes place on one of the most inconvenient days of the week.
With that out of the way I had a few more subjects I wanted to touch base on but don’t think they merit their own column so I will include them here.
@WWE using too many “part timers.” – Yes, The Rock, Taker, HHH, Brock, and even Jericho aren’t going to be around constantly but the notion that WWE should use existing stars who work their asses off every day of the year over part timers is ridiculous. What Superstars could replace them? I know, I know, if creative could book they would have legit stars that could stand alone in big match situations. That may be true but a lot of the stars have nobody to blame but themselves for not breaking into the upper echelon of the WWE. Tyson Kidd is a perfect example. I love Tyson Kidd and his matches are always fast paced, technical, and brilliantly strung together no matter who they are against and what show they are on. Kidd clearly puts hour upon hour into training, planning spots, and studying matches. Lost in these hours of toil are the time spent to developing any sort of character and working on public speaking to cut promos. Wrestling is 50% in ring work and 50% storytelling and it boggles my mind to see some of these guys devote so much time to 50% of the business while completely neglecting the other half. Sure, creative couldn’t book a re-run of Friends without screwing it up but the wrestlers aren’t doing themselves any favors either. You can’t main event if you can’t wrestle AND talk to at least a certain degree, unless your name is Goldberg, who must have been a political mastermind back stage to get the push he received.
Another thing to consider is that the best in ring matches of Wrestle Mania the last two years included part timers, so they are bringing in casual fans with their star power, delivering the best promos leading up to the event, and delivering the best matches during the show. They might not be around all year but when they are they are relied heavily upon and they can be trusted not to crumble under pressure. I will take this a step further by saying that I buy the PPVs just to watch the Undertaker matches and his matches are not only the best on the show but usually the best of the entire year. That said if you don’t like the part timers and want to see the main stay guys get the spot light, skip Mania and buy Backlash when they all leave. Yeah, that is what I thought…
@ The Rock – It should be interesting to see what becomes of The Rock. There is little left for The Rock to do other than a potential tiebreaker match with John Cena. He is a busy dude and it will be interesting to see if he sticks around to have matches with lower billed stars, even the likes of Randy Orton. The days of watching The Rock in-ring might be coming to an end. Either way his return has been enjoyable and if he goes away for awhile it will make things seem a lot fresher when he returns down the line.
@Brock Lesnar – I don’t know about this guy. I was fired up when he came back and Brock and Cena had me eating out of the palm of their hands in their match. The Super Cena ending rubbed me the wrong way and really hurt Brock in my eyes. We all expected him to wrestle about 5 matches throughout the year however the number was only 3 and 2 of them were against HHH which wasn’t a feud I cared to see. I don’t know if resigning him for only 3 matches a year is worth it to WWE. It would be laughable to try and bill him as an unstoppable monster when he has had 2 opponents since being back and has lost clean to both. If he isn’t going to agree to do some RAW matches and at least 5 PPVs I don’t think he’s worth keeping around. To me the handling of Brock Lesnar is just WCW all over again. WWE had a cash cow but rather than milk money out of it they would rather flex their muscles and make an example out of anyone who rubs Vince the wrong way. The only things that truly pay for that type of business are the fans and the companies banking account.
Contact me on Twitter @DougGarbark or via email douggarbark@live.com to further the discussion or bring up topics you would like to see discussed. Until then, this is THE DAZZLER!
Lazy Booking
Posted by Doug Garbark on 02/09/2013 at 04:30 PM
There are a few angles that have really bothered me lately due to haphazard booking so this column will be dedicated to these issues…
The Miz and Del Rio Face Turns: They didn’t even bother to write a storyline for their turns. These are upper crust talents that have been built up as credible stars for years and their turn’s come abruptly in angles with heel jobbers. Each deserved better and if these turns back fire there is nobody to blame but the creative team.
The Miz turned when he began a mini feud with 3MB, the 3 standing for the combined number of wins these guys have racked up in the last year. Was this supposed to elevate The Miz back into the main event scene? Or did they plan to have him win us over with his incredible mic skills and witty catchphrases on Miz TV the next night… Wait, Miz has mic skills? Well, if trying your dandiest to rip off Jericho’s tired shtick and stockpiling Jay Leno jokes qualify a wrestler as having “mic skill” then he is “AWESOME!!”
Thankfully The Miz managed to generate a small response due to the wiry nose pubes that Cody Rhodes debuted in that segment. A segment that saw The Miz carry a cheese dick fueled Miz Tv with the Rhodes Scholars which followed with Miz TV interviews at later dates with CM Punk, Cesaro, and worst of all Ric Flair. They couldn’t have given him better people to work with but the Ric Flair segment took the cake. I never hated Miz until that segment. Embarrassing, campy, poorly acted, poorly written, waste of a Ric Flair return in order for Miz to mirror Flair about as well as a 12 year old geek in his moms basement pretending to be a wrestler with his friends. All of this led up to The Miz adopting the figure 4 which he actually BOTCHED on Ziggler the first match after the segment. It’s not that technical of a move, you put one leg over the other and form a “4” with the legs, or as Miz did it, put one leg under the other and shove your opponents foot up your ass. It capped off a turn that tried to focus on cheap pops rather than building up a turn and changing The Miz’s character with care.
To dump more manure on the career of The Miz, this isn’t the first time The Miz has failed to run with the ball since dropping the title. Once Alex Riley turned face and beat Miz and went on to botch a gutwrench powerbomb with Swagger never be seen again, the Miz lost to pretty much anyone WWE could throw at him. Reduced to a jobber coward who would come out and say ”REALLY!?” 20 times before being squashed by a dancing dinosaur character.
Most expected The Miz to see resurgence once he took time off to film a movie, however he returned with a slick back and some dirt on his face and picked up right where he left off, losing every match. Now he is a face and he has been in some segments with legitimate stars but he is still losing most of his matches. How many times can you lazily repackage The Miz before you can no longer undo all of your petty attempted to save his character?
Del Rio on the other hand was also turned in similar half assed fashion and while he was receiving Charlie Haas pops for most of his initial turn, WWE managed to turn things around by pretending he is Eddie Guerrero and having him win a very solid Last Man Standing Match versus Big Show to win the belt. It was a cheap tactic that worked but it doesn’t change the fact that WWE put no effort into Del Rio’s turn and it is not like they can just give every turning character the world title in order to make them seem legitimate. Had creative not given him the title he would be doing the exact same thing as the Miz, only the beloved character of Ricardo Rodriguez may have helped Del Rio get over a bit, as Rodriguez has done a great job of getting Del Rio over since his title win.
Beyond these pushes how about Jack Swagger’s return? Off TV for 5 months only to come back wearing the same dollar store ring gear and a 1990’s Salute Your Shorts Budnick hair cut. No storyline other than the fact that he makes mean faces and is beating the usually mid card faces that every debuting heel runs through before either floating to the top or sinking to the bottom.
Jack Swagger is an excellent talent with strong in ring skills and the ability to entertain on the mic while acting like a doofus similar to Kurt Angle of old. Creative could have done something big with Swagger, he is a former world champion, but instead he simply returns right where he left off and once he starts losing again he will be a full on jobber. Wouldn’t the blatantly obvious angle to re-debut Swagger with be to return as the all American face that defeats Cesaro for the US title? Cesaro has been saying no American can beat him for the US title, Swagger is the All American American… Seriously even Freddy Prinze Junior probably could have put this together! Shame on you “creative” team!
These issues don’t even factor in the stale pushes of The Shield, Ryback, Tensai, and Brodus Clay. Luckily some were able to impress the audiences on their own and make up catch phrases in ring but did WWE creative really do anything? They booked them to do the same attack/match every single week for way too long until they either went belly up or got over huge. So far Ryback has gotten himself over but he really hasn’t been booked that great since he was thrust into the main event of Hell In A Cell. He lost to Punk, The Shield, and Cena at the end of the Rumble. He could be so much bigger than he is right now but creative clearly didn’t anticipate him catching on like he has and don’t know what to do with him now.
The Shield debuted in NOVEMEBER! They have been attacking people twice a week for 3 months and have only had ONE match in the WWE including PPV and TV shows! The only reason they even had that match was because of Punk’s injury. It looks like they are building up to a big match at Elimination Chamber but 3 months of attacks is just ridiculous. Try harder WWE! The Shield are well seasoned brilliant in ring performers, what is the hold up?
That’s all from me this week and I hope you have enjoyed:
What do you guys think? Hit me with your thoughts and other mailbag questions on Twitter @DougGarbark or email me at DougGarbark@live.com!
There are a few angles that have really bothered me lately due to haphazard booking so this column will be dedicated to these issues…
The Miz and Del Rio Face Turns: They didn’t even bother to write a storyline for their turns. These are upper crust talents that have been built up as credible stars for years and their turn’s come abruptly in angles with heel jobbers. Each deserved better and if these turns back fire there is nobody to blame but the creative team.
The Miz turned when he began a mini feud with 3MB, the 3 standing for the combined number of wins these guys have racked up in the last year. Was this supposed to elevate The Miz back into the main event scene? Or did they plan to have him win us over with his incredible mic skills and witty catchphrases on Miz TV the next night… Wait, Miz has mic skills? Well, if trying your dandiest to rip off Jericho’s tired shtick and stockpiling Jay Leno jokes qualify a wrestler as having “mic skill” then he is “AWESOME!!”
Thankfully The Miz managed to generate a small response due to the wiry nose pubes that Cody Rhodes debuted in that segment. A segment that saw The Miz carry a cheese dick fueled Miz Tv with the Rhodes Scholars which followed with Miz TV interviews at later dates with CM Punk, Cesaro, and worst of all Ric Flair. They couldn’t have given him better people to work with but the Ric Flair segment took the cake. I never hated Miz until that segment. Embarrassing, campy, poorly acted, poorly written, waste of a Ric Flair return in order for Miz to mirror Flair about as well as a 12 year old geek in his moms basement pretending to be a wrestler with his friends. All of this led up to The Miz adopting the figure 4 which he actually BOTCHED on Ziggler the first match after the segment. It’s not that technical of a move, you put one leg over the other and form a “4” with the legs, or as Miz did it, put one leg under the other and shove your opponents foot up your ass. It capped off a turn that tried to focus on cheap pops rather than building up a turn and changing The Miz’s character with care.
To dump more manure on the career of The Miz, this isn’t the first time The Miz has failed to run with the ball since dropping the title. Once Alex Riley turned face and beat Miz and went on to botch a gutwrench powerbomb with Swagger never be seen again, the Miz lost to pretty much anyone WWE could throw at him. Reduced to a jobber coward who would come out and say ”REALLY!?” 20 times before being squashed by a dancing dinosaur character.
Most expected The Miz to see resurgence once he took time off to film a movie, however he returned with a slick back and some dirt on his face and picked up right where he left off, losing every match. Now he is a face and he has been in some segments with legitimate stars but he is still losing most of his matches. How many times can you lazily repackage The Miz before you can no longer undo all of your petty attempted to save his character?
Del Rio on the other hand was also turned in similar half assed fashion and while he was receiving Charlie Haas pops for most of his initial turn, WWE managed to turn things around by pretending he is Eddie Guerrero and having him win a very solid Last Man Standing Match versus Big Show to win the belt. It was a cheap tactic that worked but it doesn’t change the fact that WWE put no effort into Del Rio’s turn and it is not like they can just give every turning character the world title in order to make them seem legitimate. Had creative not given him the title he would be doing the exact same thing as the Miz, only the beloved character of Ricardo Rodriguez may have helped Del Rio get over a bit, as Rodriguez has done a great job of getting Del Rio over since his title win.
Beyond these pushes how about Jack Swagger’s return? Off TV for 5 months only to come back wearing the same dollar store ring gear and a 1990’s Salute Your Shorts Budnick hair cut. No storyline other than the fact that he makes mean faces and is beating the usually mid card faces that every debuting heel runs through before either floating to the top or sinking to the bottom.
Jack Swagger is an excellent talent with strong in ring skills and the ability to entertain on the mic while acting like a doofus similar to Kurt Angle of old. Creative could have done something big with Swagger, he is a former world champion, but instead he simply returns right where he left off and once he starts losing again he will be a full on jobber. Wouldn’t the blatantly obvious angle to re-debut Swagger with be to return as the all American face that defeats Cesaro for the US title? Cesaro has been saying no American can beat him for the US title, Swagger is the All American American… Seriously even Freddy Prinze Junior probably could have put this together! Shame on you “creative” team!
These issues don’t even factor in the stale pushes of The Shield, Ryback, Tensai, and Brodus Clay. Luckily some were able to impress the audiences on their own and make up catch phrases in ring but did WWE creative really do anything? They booked them to do the same attack/match every single week for way too long until they either went belly up or got over huge. So far Ryback has gotten himself over but he really hasn’t been booked that great since he was thrust into the main event of Hell In A Cell. He lost to Punk, The Shield, and Cena at the end of the Rumble. He could be so much bigger than he is right now but creative clearly didn’t anticipate him catching on like he has and don’t know what to do with him now.
The Shield debuted in NOVEMEBER! They have been attacking people twice a week for 3 months and have only had ONE match in the WWE including PPV and TV shows! The only reason they even had that match was because of Punk’s injury. It looks like they are building up to a big match at Elimination Chamber but 3 months of attacks is just ridiculous. Try harder WWE! The Shield are well seasoned brilliant in ring performers, what is the hold up?
That’s all from me this week and I hope you have enjoyed:
What do you guys think? Hit me with your thoughts and other mailbag questions on Twitter @DougGarbark or email me at DougGarbark@live.com!
Are PPVs Worth Buying?
Posted by Doug Garbark on 01/25/2013 at 06:07 PM
The Dazzler by Doug Garbark (Formerly Strange Bedfellows)
“PPV’s aren't worth $45 bucks anymore and paying for one is like buying a cd instead of pirating it. What do you think?â€
-Corey (Mouth-Breathing Miscreant)
There are several reasons PPVs seem obsolete to me:
Poor Booking: The thing that really bothers me about the recent PPV’s is that half of the card isn’t announced at least a week before the PPV. If they are too lazy to devote at least a week of build up to mid card title feuds or other matches with big talent, why should I invest money in their product? I want to know what I am paying for.
On top of the ambiguity of the cards, most of the WWE PPV’s are dreadful. The norm has become one or two good matches and a bunch of fill in garbage that most fans would turn the channel if it were shown on cable TV. It wasn’t long ago that two matches a PPV were devoted to Brodus Clay and Ryback squash matches and almost all of those were exactly the same match.
I know some PPV’s like Money In The Bank 2011 (MITB) and others have been very strong but then WWE turn around and say “Well, the fans must not want that! It didn’t generate the buys we had hoped.†Of course it didn’t! If I rang your doorbell once a day for a week and every time you answered the door I slapped you in the face by the 7th day would you still be answering the door? No! But the joke would be on you because on the 7th day I was going to give you a million dollars to make up for slapping you in the face 6 times. It’s the best way I can describe WWE and TNA right now. How many times can you burn us and then whine when you do something right and nobody is around to see it?
3 Hour RAW’s: The only difference between RAW and a PPV is the commercials. Seriously, RAW and Smackdown give away PPV main events every week. They also spoil every feud before it becomes a feud. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan fought at least 3 times for free before having them meet at multiple PPVs for the top title! How about Del Rio vs Big Show’s Last Man Standing(They are redoing the match at Royal Rumble), Christian vs Orton, I could keep naming them but those are some of the best feuds as of late and they were all on TV before PPV. On top of that why are they booking matches with Cesaro and Sandow against all of the top stars? If you want to see how they work with top stars do it at house shows but those are two guys who will be headlining PPVs in a few years… Why are you giving me these matches and they trying to make me pay $45 dollars in 3 months when they are redone on PPV?
The Economy: Lets face it people are hurting for money. I would imagine the group of people most affected would be the WWE’s target demographic. Nobody on limited funds is dishing out $45 bucks for a throw together meaningless PPV that they could either pirate online or watch in a bar for free. People always get uppity when they write stuff on here about pirating and say “Support the product!†Why? The product isn’t worth supporting! If you keep supporting it they will keep neglecting to improve it! Personally I would rather just skip most of the PPV’s and watch RAW the next day where they will redo the entire card for free. Now, before Dudley Do-Right attacks me for condoning PPV streaming, I’m not. If you have a means to buy the PPVs buy them! You would have to truly hate yourself enough to endure a VHS quality, lagging, ad-ridden mess of an Internet broadcast for a PPV like Hell In A Cell. People that love the WWE enough to do that should just be given the PPV’s for free.
Base Pricing: My final gripe with the WWE PPV system is that EVERY PPV no matter how weakly thrown together costs the same amount, except for Wrestlemania! I can get charging a decent price for ‘Mania, Royal Rumble, Summerslam, Money In The Bank, and Survivor Series (Although is this even important anymore?). The rest shouldn’t be a penny over $20 and even then they are still bending you over for half of these. Not every PPV is handled with the same care so why does the price remain the same? Just because this model worked in the Attitude Era when they had twice as many fans and far better booking doesn’t mean it works now. WWE need to get with the times and stop worrying about people pirating shows and start asking why they are pirating them instead of buying them.
That’s all from me this week and I hope you have enjoyed…
What do you guys think of the current PPV system? Hit me with your thoughts and other mailbag questions on Twitter @DougGarbark or email me at DougGarbark@live.com!
The Dazzler by Doug Garbark (Formerly Strange Bedfellows)
“PPV’s aren't worth $45 bucks anymore and paying for one is like buying a cd instead of pirating it. What do you think?â€
-Corey (Mouth-Breathing Miscreant)
There are several reasons PPVs seem obsolete to me:
Poor Booking: The thing that really bothers me about the recent PPV’s is that half of the card isn’t announced at least a week before the PPV. If they are too lazy to devote at least a week of build up to mid card title feuds or other matches with big talent, why should I invest money in their product? I want to know what I am paying for.
On top of the ambiguity of the cards, most of the WWE PPV’s are dreadful. The norm has become one or two good matches and a bunch of fill in garbage that most fans would turn the channel if it were shown on cable TV. It wasn’t long ago that two matches a PPV were devoted to Brodus Clay and Ryback squash matches and almost all of those were exactly the same match.
I know some PPV’s like Money In The Bank 2011 (MITB) and others have been very strong but then WWE turn around and say “Well, the fans must not want that! It didn’t generate the buys we had hoped.†Of course it didn’t! If I rang your doorbell once a day for a week and every time you answered the door I slapped you in the face by the 7th day would you still be answering the door? No! But the joke would be on you because on the 7th day I was going to give you a million dollars to make up for slapping you in the face 6 times. It’s the best way I can describe WWE and TNA right now. How many times can you burn us and then whine when you do something right and nobody is around to see it?
3 Hour RAW’s: The only difference between RAW and a PPV is the commercials. Seriously, RAW and Smackdown give away PPV main events every week. They also spoil every feud before it becomes a feud. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan fought at least 3 times for free before having them meet at multiple PPVs for the top title! How about Del Rio vs Big Show’s Last Man Standing(They are redoing the match at Royal Rumble), Christian vs Orton, I could keep naming them but those are some of the best feuds as of late and they were all on TV before PPV. On top of that why are they booking matches with Cesaro and Sandow against all of the top stars? If you want to see how they work with top stars do it at house shows but those are two guys who will be headlining PPVs in a few years… Why are you giving me these matches and they trying to make me pay $45 dollars in 3 months when they are redone on PPV?
The Economy: Lets face it people are hurting for money. I would imagine the group of people most affected would be the WWE’s target demographic. Nobody on limited funds is dishing out $45 bucks for a throw together meaningless PPV that they could either pirate online or watch in a bar for free. People always get uppity when they write stuff on here about pirating and say “Support the product!†Why? The product isn’t worth supporting! If you keep supporting it they will keep neglecting to improve it! Personally I would rather just skip most of the PPV’s and watch RAW the next day where they will redo the entire card for free. Now, before Dudley Do-Right attacks me for condoning PPV streaming, I’m not. If you have a means to buy the PPVs buy them! You would have to truly hate yourself enough to endure a VHS quality, lagging, ad-ridden mess of an Internet broadcast for a PPV like Hell In A Cell. People that love the WWE enough to do that should just be given the PPV’s for free.
Base Pricing: My final gripe with the WWE PPV system is that EVERY PPV no matter how weakly thrown together costs the same amount, except for Wrestlemania! I can get charging a decent price for ‘Mania, Royal Rumble, Summerslam, Money In The Bank, and Survivor Series (Although is this even important anymore?). The rest shouldn’t be a penny over $20 and even then they are still bending you over for half of these. Not every PPV is handled with the same care so why does the price remain the same? Just because this model worked in the Attitude Era when they had twice as many fans and far better booking doesn’t mean it works now. WWE need to get with the times and stop worrying about people pirating shows and start asking why they are pirating them instead of buying them.
That’s all from me this week and I hope you have enjoyed…
What do you guys think of the current PPV system? Hit me with your thoughts and other mailbag questions on Twitter @DougGarbark or email me at DougGarbark@live.com!
The Genesis of McGillicutty
This Monday wrestling fans were clamoring over who could be the next WWE star to get an incredible opportunity to be taken under the wing and managed by one of the greatest minds in wrestling history. Some thought perhaps ECW stand out RVD could be making his long awaited return to the WWE! Others pondered which up and comer would fit the bill… Corey Graves? Kassius Ohno? Maybe even former US Champion Antionio Cesaro? After Heyman greased up the audience building up the unveiling of a guy who will be put in the same position CM Punk and Brock Lesnar were forged under. You could hear the gasp of the crowd as everybody held their breathe! Set your DVR’s said Heyman, this should be epic! Then all that tension leads to…. Micheal McGillicutty. And just as loud as the crowds gasp before it a sigh rang over the crowd. Those weren’t heel boo’s you heard, those were large collections of the audience asking “WHO!?”
The third generation star formerly known as Micheal McGillicutty is the new “Chosen One!” He has replaced what many fans find as the worst name in wrestling with a brand new name as well… Curtis Axel. Yes, he managed to find a new name every bit as bad as the original! Further proving this kid doesn’t get it, he debuted looking EXACTLY the same. He came out with the same hair, beard, and even ring gear! The thought of a visual transformation to go with the repackaging never crossed his mind? Paul Heyman tries to polish this turd over the mic, which leads to HHH confronting Heyman and Axel. Axel gets in Trips face and for a moment he appears legit, until those thoughts were quickly washed away when HHH bitch slapped him and he sat on the ground like a total coward. Way to build him up creative! He looked very intimidating there, might as well had Heyman get in HHH’s face!
That is cool though, because HHH v Axel is book to main event the show. HHH has been selling some symptoms lingering from his match with Lesnar the night before presumably to give him an excuse to put Axel over, right? HA! Have you watched WWE in the last decade? It is just a ploy to make HHH look even stronger. So the match takes place and while Axel gets in a little bit of offense the spotlight quickly turns to HHH, SURPRISE! Despite Axel “debuting “ and competing in his first match that likely half the audience has seen since McGilli-Tunga brought the tag titles to a new low. So, HHH is trying to sell a concussion but proves the reason his film career plummeted like it was Drew Macintyre after a hotel altercation… He is selling it as a stroke. I tend to believe in a third theory, HHH just happened to fall victim to witnessing a McGillicutty match and began falling into an uncontrollable deep sleep. His first dose of “Third Generation Nyquil” CURTIS AXEL. The bell rings and it is like taking roofies.
Overall the show ends with everyone worried about HHH’s fake injury and Axel is backburnered to the point where he doesn’t even appear on camera the last 5 minutes. Wouldn’t it have made sense to have Axel beat down a dying HHH and throw him in the ring for the pin? Although that might have resulted in a heel receiving heat that isn’t out of being so bad that the fans just hate him. In all seriousness, if WWE are going to write out the last remaining part timer, wouldn’t it have made sense to leave the focus on the new star who is going to be around all year? It is no wonder WWE programing is nearly unwatchable. It was horrible even with The Rock, Taker, HHH, Lesnar, and a slew of others who will vanish until their next Mania pay day. The ending of RAW should have left me feeling that starting this moment...from now...from this moment on...this'll be the moment...starting now...Of the GENESIS OF McGILLICUTTY!!!
[WRITERS NOTE: WATCH THIS VIDEO NOW! If you haven't seen it prepare for something incredible, if you have, relive the glory]
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61Y4y0XBKUM
For those unfamiliar with Joe Hennig/Michael McGillicutty/Curtis Axel looking to get the details on him, here they are:
Never in all my days have I seen a wrestler rest on the laurels of his father’s credentials like Joe Hennig. Everyone cries about his stupid names and blame them for his shortcomings but it is only a name! He just needs his dad’s last name so we can be reminded we are supposed to like Joe Hennig because he is the son of an amazing wrestler that we all loved as children. If you think having a really bad name is going to cripple your success all I want to say to you is CM PUNK!?
If you are one of the people whose whole world was shattered by my claim that the name isn’t his problem, you might be wondering why I think he has floundered off TV for so long. Well, I will break down my thoughts:
• Name – From Michael McGillicutty to Curtis Axel… If you won’t give him the Hennig name to leech off of then just call him AXEL. The name has no flow and the Curtis part makes him sound like a geek.
• Finisher –Swinging Neckbreaker- Sorry, that’s what it is, but he spins around a bit more to land on his stomach. Again everyone wants him to use his fathers finisher The Perfect Plex. Further proving everything he tries to do on his own accord is a massive train wreck.
• In Ring – Joe Hennig = Charlie Haas. A mediocre technical wrestler with some hard hitting moves that can’t generate a reaction from the crowd. He can’t tell an effective story, or work the camera. For WWE standards this probably puts him above average in the ring but if you are looking for a modern day Mr. Perfect, you would be better off looking in the direction of Dolph Ziggler. Still if WWE have him start using the Perfect Plex and have Heyman and the announcers sell his application of the move it will probably go over well.
• Mic Work – Gives the Great Khali a run for his money for the worst in the company. At least Khali uses English as a second language and might be a shaved Sasquatch.
Now I fully expect to take heat for essentially burying Joe Hennig from some kid who thought Alex Riley was AWESOME and changes his Twitter avatar to whatever wrestler he has a man crush on that week. Don’t hate me for being honest but to me the WWE just wasted a huge push on bland a guy who has dropped the ball in the past and who hasn’t taken any measures to improve his weaknesses in the last 2 years. This was a push that could have taken somebody to mainstay main event status but with Curtis Axel the push will likely replicate Jack Swaggers’. Look at the similarities… Bring a jobber back on TV to push them relying heavily on a strong manager. Sure, Swagger’s push may have been soured by the “WEED THE PEOPLE” incident but I just don’t think Swagger has the ability to work a crowd. Ultimately people are reacting to Zeb Colter and in Axel’s case the people will be reacting to Heyman. The matches will be an after thought, which with Lesnar and Punk the matches were always as strong as Heyman’s mic work.
Remember it isn’t the push that matters it is the staying power. Paul Heyman is a genius and if anyone can take Curtis Axel from being a Charlie Haas to a Chris Benoit it is Paul Heyman. Axel has enough talent in the ring to pull off a small Swagger push with ease but I don’t think he can rely too heavily on Heyman if he wants to stay there. So far Axel lacks a lot of key elements to his game but if he is a quick learner we could watch him grow leaps and bounds in the coming weeks. While I don’t love the idea of Curtis Axel getting this push, ultimately this is sink or swim for Joe Hennig and it will likely be the most entertaining portion of WWE programming besides The Shield segments.
That said let me know what you think of Curtis Axel! Is he the right choice for the push? Does he have the talent to take the ball and run with it? Will we be singing his praises for years to come? Is Heyman good enough to make Curtis Axel the future of WWE?
If I get some good replies I will try to do a follow up to this column highlighting the replies.
Twitter: @BloatOfHippos
Email: DougGarbark@live.com
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